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For loved ones

When someone you love is struggling

Caring about someone who’s struggling can be a lot to hold. Whether they’re in the middle of it or newly in recovery, you deserve support too. Here are a few gentle places to start.

If you’re not safe at home, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (US). If someone may be overdosing, call 911 or your local emergency number.

Small ways to help, and to care for yourself

1
Listen without fixing

You don’t need the perfect words. Often the most helpful thing is simply to listen.

2
Celebrate small steps

Notice the meetings, the honest moments and the good days, and tell them you noticed.

3
Learn a little about recovery

Knowing what meetings, sponsors and the steps are about makes it easier to understand and support them.

4
Care for yourself too

Rest, time with friends, and support of your own. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

Questions you might have

“What can I say that actually helps?”
Simple words go a long way: “I’m proud of you.” “I’m here.” “How can I help this week?” Asking is often kinder than guessing.
“How do I support them without hovering?”
Respect their meetings, their sponsor and their time. Check in gently, then trust them to lead their own recovery.
“What if I don’t know what they need?”
You can ask. And it’s okay if the answer changes from week to week. Recovery has ups and downs for everyone.
“How do I look after myself through this?”
Keep doing the things that bring you joy, lean on friends, and consider a family support group or counselor. Your well-being matters too.
Go deeper

More support in The Recovery Companion

Members get step-by-step guides and private writing tools made for families and friends, saved in their own journal.

A Loved One’s Reflection · a private check-in, just for you
Supporting early recovery · being helpful without hovering
Caring conversations · how to say what matters, kindly
Six guides · caring for yourself, staying close through setbacks and more

You never need a membership to find support. Family twelve step groups and counselors are there for you. Not affiliated with any fellowship, and not a substitute for professional care.